Originally written in October of 2012 after my first visit to Clonberne. Shared again now since it absolutely belongs here on this travel blog...
Growing up in Massachusetts, I was incredibly lucky. I had two grandparents in my life who were very real, very lively, and very active in helping me become the person I am today. They were both my maternal grandparents. On my father’s side, I also had two grandparents. I knew them by name and I was familiar with their stories but I never truly knew them since they both passed away before I was born. I cherished each story I learned about this couple, Delia (Donelan) and Bernard McNulty, but part of me always wished I could have known them in person. They both immigrated to Boston from Ireland at a young age and, together, they built a successful life and loving family in Dorchester. From an early age, I wanted to know more.
As I grew older, I did learn more stories. I heard tales about Ireland. I became familiar with a place called Swinford where my grandfather had grown up, and a place called Clonberne where my grandmother had lived as a child. I began to pick up on references to possible family members still living in Ireland. Could this be true? I had a fairly large family in Boston, but could there be even more cousins across the ocean? Time went by and I grew older as my curiosity grew deeper. Technology was booming and I was becoming more skilled at my own research. What began as a name, Delia Donelan from Clonberne, started to become a family tree. Through old documents and emails, facebook and genealogy sites, connections began to be made. Finally, after many years of wondering and mystery, I was able to meet my cousin Tom Kearney during his visit to Boston last winter. At last, a real and tangible connection had been made with the family in Ireland. I was set to visit Ireland with my wife that coming summer and a plan was set in motion: I would finally visit Clonberne, my grandmother’s home.
This is where words become difficult for me. How do I fully capture on paper what my visit to Clonberne meant to me? Honestly, I can’t. I can try, but the emotion I felt over a few damp and drizzly days in July goes beyond anything I can write. I promise to do my best, though!
First, a word about my family. I had met my cousin Tom and his wife Fidelma during their visit to Boston and was instantly touched by their genuine, kind spirit. Five months later, when I went to meet more cousins for dinner in Galway, I realized they all shared this same wonderful quality. When you are meeting a table full of cousins for the first time, you really don’t know what to expect. What I found at that table was the same loving, welcoming feel of family I had known in Boston. It was an instant connection that I will never forget. From all the Kearneys to my cousin Eileen to my great-aunt Mary, I could never thank them enough for the warmth and generosity they showed me during my time in Clonberne. There was a time when I thought I had a few scattered relatives still living in Ireland. Today I know the truth: I have a vibrant, loving family there that I will be forever grateful to.
As wonderful as it was to connect with my current family in Ireland, though, there was another part of this Clonberne visit that touched me deeply. For the first time in my life, I felt like I truly knew my grandmother. My cousins Tom and John Kearney took me to visit the remains of her childhood home. I touched the same walls she touched as a child and looked out over the same fields she said goodbye to when she moved away at age sixteen. I heard new stories, learned about her way of life, and saw countless photos of her siblings and in-laws. I even got to walk through the turf fields, clutching it in my hands as cool mist fell down upon me, just as she had probably done many times herself. With each step, I was able to see the land and imagine life in Clonberne through her eyes. I literally got to walk in my grandmother’s footsteps, taking in her childhood with my own senses, and that is a special experience I will never forget.
One of the few things I knew about my grandmother, Delia Donelan, before I made this trip was this: She loved her family deeply, always missed them, and planned to visit them again. Sadly, that final trip home was canceled because she became too sick with cancer and it claimed her life soon after. She loved Clonberne so deeply, and she always wanted her family to remember where they came from. My grandmother lived in Boston many years but Clonberne was always her home. When my hands touched the cold stone walls of her childhood house, I felt her presence quite strongly. She never made it back to Clonberne that one final time, but now her grandson had gone there for her. I knew she was there with me. When I visited the cemetery and paid my respects to her parents and siblings, I felt her standing beside me. I know that somehow, in some way, she was very proud and happy that her grandson had found his way to this place that was so dear to her. Finally, I took one small stone and one larger one from the wall of that ruined home in Clonberne. The small stone now rests with her at her gravesite in Boston, so a piece of her beloved home will remain with her forever. The other stone rests proudly in our own family home, keeping a part of her and a piece of Clonberne close to us at all times.
This emotional experience would not have been possible if not for the love and generosity of my family in Ireland and Clonberne in particular. I will forever be in debt to them. I really want to thank all the people of Clonberne, however. As I visited each part of the town, I was met with warm smiles and friendly greetings. I was able to appreciate this place my grandmother loved so much because all of you have done such a great job keeping the beauty and history of Clonberne alive. One year ago, Clonberne was a spot on a map to me. Now, it feels like my own home in Ireland, a place I will always cherish and always hope to visit again. I thank all of you for this gift, I wish you the very best, and I look forward to visiting you again soon!
